[Music]
okay
alex wanted me to talk about
my here and now 3d experience of having
my
memories restored
now i need to give you a little bit of
background
so you'll know how i got into this
position
my second husband had poisoned me to
collect on life insurance
and when i divorced him i was
dying
from arsenic poisoning
and
i was so sick i could not even shower by
myself
um
that was in 2001
and i was trying to work because i still
had to be self-supporting and i had a
child in high school
and i
was
a part-time leader at a
limestone quarry
it was
one or two days a week that i would work
there and clean
the out buildings
you know the the lab and the scale house
and you know the buildings where the men
worked to keep them clean enough for the
computers to work
well
i was
really sick
from the arsenic
and it was taking me longer and longer
and longer and longer to do
the work and
both california and
the american government laws
are if you're working at a mine
the only person who can be there alone
is the security guard so as the janitor
i had to be babysat
so lou
the man i live with
it was the security guard
and his wife had left him five years
earlier
he was alone
um
and when i finally filed for divorce
i s
i was still pretty sick
and i had
three
grown
adult children staying with me
and they decided to stop pitching in on
the rent
well i couldn't work enough to cover the
bills
so i booted them all out and started
selling my properties you know my
possessions
and i was putting the money into a fund
to send my
high school age child to live with my
mother in nst
and i was going to live in my car
and lou
got wind of this
and he told me that that was a stupid
idea
that i would be dead within a month and
that he was not going to stand for it
that
the youngest and i could move in with
him and he would take care of us
so i moved in with him and he did take
care of me
but he and his wife had never filed for
divorce
so when i got better
i was working again
and
i got tired of being a mistress
that's the flat out truth
about
2011
i started looking for
someone
that
i could marry
who was
going to be mine
i was looking for
a man
to marry who would be mine
and it wasn't that i didn't like lou
it was
i was christian and i was tired of
living in sin
and i
wanted to get my act
together and i had
lots of friends on facebook most of them
were single men
and
i had a profile i was looking for
someone intelligent and witty and single
i mean really single
and uh
this guy showed that
and he was
he said he was retired from the nsa
that he had been a
russian translator that he had
officially been
us air force
and
the being retired not so much
the being a russian translator yes he
was
he's the character that
the
agent the american agent and the hunt
for red october was based on
so
um he brought
in
from a russian submarine
and also a russian pilot when he was
stationed in japan
in american terms he was a hero of the
cold war because he had done all the
things without killing anyone
that's a major big deal
and so
um
he was very charming and very
educated and he was a writer
i don't think he's ever published any
books because he never quite finished
anything
drums
and
i had known him
about two years
on facebook and he had gradually
become friendlier over the time he had
been
i think the terminology is grooming me
right um
i thought he was courting me
there's a slight difference in those
terms exactly
yes and uh he was a year older than i
was so
my age and size didn't appear to be a
big
deal for him
so um
i was
in the process of moving out
and
i got hurt at work
in 2008
and so this was this was a difficult
long process for me
most of my belongings were going to go
into storage and i was going to be
moving into a friend's bedroom
that she had furnished which meant
none of my things were going to be there
except my clothes
and i was depressed about it
had a lot of mixed feelings
and
this man's name was steve
i won't mention his last name
and he decided to send me a thousand
dollars to help me move and if there was
enough money left over to come see him
and he was
sharing his sister's house in york
pennsylvania
which is a bedroom community for the nsa
agents
okay
yeah i ended up
the day before i was supposed to move
lou told me
that his cancer had come back and that
he was dying and that's why he had been
such a dick
and
i actually do love the guy so i
bought it
and i told him about steve he told him
that i was gonna go
and he spent the next nine days trying
to talk me out of it
and in retrospect i wish he had but
um
i got on an
airplane flew from california to
baltimore maryland
and
steve was that
and he was a lot smaller than he had
presented himself on facebook
which made me feel really
really self-conscious
because i'm five foot seven and over 200
pounds and
well over 200 pounds
and
he was also 5'7 and he was about 180
so
um
it's not
that common for
the woman to be
that much larger than the man
and i really felt self-conscious but we
spent
we ended up spending 11 days together
and he actually married me
but not in a loop of hormone
and during the time of our supposed
honeymoon
he kept taking me to all of these things
concerning wizard of oz
and there's
and there is a place in washington dc
that is
the national temple for the mormon
church
and it
greatly resembles
the emerald city in the wizard of oz
movie
and every time we would pass by it in
our travels he tell me about
this big sign that they put up that said
free dorothy
and he
repeated it over and over and over and
over and over and over and over during
the 11 days we spent together and then
one day he says it's time for you to go
home to loom
and he
started to drive me to the airport
and
basically had what appeared to be a
paralysis episode
so we had to pull over for several hours
till it cleared but when we missed the
plane
i've got a hotel room for the night
and i don't know what his plan was
but he uh
he still kept repeating this free
dorothy stuff
and
when i got home
i was ill
physically ill
i had i was nauseous
well after the plane flag
my my feet was blowing to three times
before normal size my shoes had cut my
feet where i was bleeding
um
i was not dizzy and it was almost like
some sort of drug withdrawal
and
i had
i've always been able to see into 4d
okay
but i could filter it out
and from that point on i have not been
able to filter it out it is there all
the time
overlapping 3d
so
whatever is in my astral life
i see it
and
it's like an overlay over 3d reality so
like sorting these things all the way
this is my new normal
and
there was a telepathic connection
between steve and i
that
is still laura
even though he's been dead for three
years
in fact a couple of nights ago he came
to visit me check on me see how i was
doing
and that's incredibly disturbing
especially when you know it's a dead
person
um
coming to see me after he died
was how i knew he had been murdered
because he
showed me the mental image of the person
who
injected something into his iv that he
died
the rest of his family thinks he just
died in the hospital but i got home
and i was sick
and a week later he had an asthma attack
at his sister's house and she refused to
call
and have an ambulance come get him
and he ended up having a heart attack
and
basically dying
and they revived him in the hospital and
had him under
medical
paralysis
for another week
uh yeah it was it was
clinical like clinical coma
a clinical coma
and
when they withdrew the drug he didn't
come out on his own
and because of this
telepathic watchman i was getting
visions of him floating above his body
he wanted to die
and
something ripped loose inside of me
and i screamed no
not enough that the neighbors walk away
had to have heard me
and uh
it was like
power came out in the hands
and i'm 3 000 miles away from him you
know i'm in california and he's in in
york pennsylvania this is so this is a
huge distance this is not like
around the corner
um
and up to that he kept telling me he was
going to come here and
live with lou and i
men are weird especially in america
all right so
anyway
yeah
there are a lot of weirdnesses in the
single scene in america
and i'll just leave it at that
things that
never would have thought of when i was
doing it
so
um
if he had been telling me that now when
he came out of the problem
he acted like he didn't remember me at
all
he even unfriended me on facebook
and what was
years
before he sent me a friend request again
meanwhile
i have all these
cyan radiances piling up on me
because
that's what came first
was the paranormal problem
[Music]
so i stopped sleeping
i was
good 24 7.
i still am i don't take drugs to sleep
and have visions
during
that time and
what the new age community calls
downloads
and my
i had been a devout christian before
i kept being excommunicated because i
actually believed in the sermon on the
mount
and
the last time i was excommunicated it
was for living with lou
without being married to him
so that was part of my motive for
wanting to leave
um
but all of that just
all of my christians just fell away it
was like
it was like
i don't believe that crap
and i still remember it
i still remember believing it i still
remember all the decades of christian
study that i did i went to seminary i
was
a postulant for holy orders i was
a lay reader in the anglican church
i was licensed to preach if the pastor
took sick
i mean
we're talking
the kind of devout that makes people
crazy
and it was like a
light switch had been flipped off
it was gone
and i was having all this stuff happen
that most anybody else would have called
it demonic and i'm sitting there just
watching it going
oh
who are you
and
some of them would tell me their names
and i whipped some of them up and yeah
they're they're in
somebody's mythology because they come
up on google
um
some of them are good guys and some of
them are bad guys i've had michelle blew
up the archangel i've had lucifer show
up the other versions archangel
so you know
uh
i don't argue with them anymore they
show up if they're decent to me
and don't ask me to do stuff i let them
hang around if they ask me to do stuff i
don't want to do i make them leave
so
um
it makes me sound crazy as hell
but there were also these memories
that could not possibly have happened
in my real world life as i knew it
they could not possibly have happened on
earth
anywhere that i know of
uh
they were in this big lump
and they were all in german
and
i studied german in high school and
junior college back in
1970
you know i've kind of kept where i can
half-ass speak it
like a
three or four-year-old
i don't remember declensions
i can't remember noun genders
and god help me if i try try to
conjugate a verb
but
if i'm reading it i get the general
drift
if i'm trying to speak it i'm like a
little kid
i've been told my accent is perfect
like like a native speaker but
yeah so i had all these memories in
german
of
raptors
coming through a wall
and
shredding children
and they were so real
i could
not only smell but taste the blood
i knew that did not happen on earth
and so i started looking for
this was too real to not be real
so
when and where and how could this have
happened
and i'm educated
i was a senior in in university when i
had to drop out for having lupus
so
i was pre-med microbiology and chemistry
i'm not
you know
i'm not an idiot i know how to research
so i started looking into
reptilians
because it was raptors who came through
the door through the wall
and
i had always had some memories
i knew that in my past i had levitated
i knew
i knew that
i could hear thoughts part of the time
i knew that
i knew that when i got angry
that electronics would blow up
when i was a child
i don't know
how the technology was
in russia
but in america
when i was a child in the 1960s
televisions had tubes in them
exactly and you would you would take
them out and you would test them because
the tubes would go bad and you'd have to
figure out which one
okay my father would it's to me
while he was going through and he would
write down the numbers and check yes or
no
well i was dusting them off with my hand
and it took the numbers off
oh
dad was absolutely livid
and you did not make dad mad he had a
temper
and uh
i think the most polite way to put it is
i got my ass beat
and he never handed me
the tubes again
but he had to go through
and figure out
which tube each of them was he had to
get a whole new set for the tv
would have been cheaper to buy a new tv
and i was in big trouble
but about
a year later
he had the guy come in to degauss the tv
i don't know if you remember process or
not no it was
it was necessary for cathode ray tubes
and
[Music]
i watched the guy with his magnet
playing with it
and the next time the tv got screwy
i did the same motions with my hand
and i fixed it
and
[Music]
so you know these were things that were
in my background before the memories
came
so um
since i didn't know what i was
remembering
i started doing research
and these people are probably going to
be absolutely mortified that i named
them
but i read richard dolan's books
i read
joseph farrell's books
i
read the books that that um
i can't even think of her name the lady
that that was
researching
the the cattle mutilations
i read her
i read her books is that lyndon
maltenhalt
yeah okay linda mullen
yes i read her books
and
out of all of the authors that were out
there i dearly dearly loved james mars
[Music]
he
wrote
logically
down to earth in common language
you didn't have to
think about
what was he saying he was not confusing
at all
he was very to the point
and laid it down in logical terms okay
so with that
background
i started listening to the
whistleblowers
on youtube
and that was i did
uh when i met steve
was in april of 2013.
um by
2014
i was starting to watch the videos
okay
and
randy kramer's experiences on mars
were the closest to what i remembered
not exactly right because i didn't
remember being in the
the the battles right but i'm the mdf
i
was not in the same faction he was so
i
the memories were different
but the overall picture
was the closest to his okay
oh i thought okay
you know all right
this is what we're talking about and
then i read michael ralph's
website and the two
the two books he has on there
and i thought okay that pretty much
narrows it down to mars
and
then i started
looking for
help
to make
sense of the blob of memories
and i ended up in a
facebook group
where fritz springmeyer
declared that i was a demon
not that i was possessed like he says
all the other me labs are but that i
actually was a demon
i'm like
oh
suddenly being attacked all over
facebook by
any
person that listened to him about me
well i was in this chat room
with um
there were about 20 of us
and we were all in various stages of
remembering
and we said you know there's no place
out there for those of us who are
remembering serving in space
you know there are for the me labs there
are for it for the montauk people there
are for everybody else
um but they treat us like we're
different
like we're not even human anymore
and so that was when we formed our
ssp group
and
within the first year we had 2 000
members and
because we had so many admins go back
because we are very damaged people
and occasionally do go off the deep end
uh we have this rule that it takes to
admins to ban somebody
the first big lump of memories
was all from one
that was the altar who went through
i guess she was the first one that was
split off
okay
because she was the one that remembered
she was the one that remembered
langley
and remembered one talk and remembered
going to mars and then remembered being
on a freighter
and she was out there she was away from
home
for 55 years
so
that was
they called her penelope valkyrie
because the unit in the mars defense
force that she served with was called
the
alkylin
the valkyries
we were all women fighter pilots
so
is this is this common for the programs
to actually
first create an alter and then train you
and send you
away in that alter not as you right is
that is that a common thing okay so it's
not
i don't want the earth version of you
to remember any other know anything
right yeah
so when they get you back so that when
they get you back you are you can they
can switch you over to your earth self
and you have no idea right
no idea
and
you know you can't
you can't expose something you don't
remember right
and
there are
clues
because you'll have a small child
doing very adult things
inappropriately
you'll have kids who pick up on a
language way too fast because
the alters spoke that language
um
what did i do to my dad i was
sick
and he had a hunting rifle that he kept
behind the door
at 30 out sixth
and i sat down one day and took it apart
and cleaned it and put it back together
and he said
how did you know how to do that okay i
don't know
so he was a bit leery of me for a while
what else
what else did you have anything else
that you remember
from that i mean
as you look back
there must have been many things like
that
did you ever feel any connection with
the with the subject i mean like mars
you know space aliens whatever
when i was
10 years old we had a school assignment
to keep a scrapbook
right
mine was on ufos
so you could you could pick which
subject you want to do it right on
and you do
the one on the ufos okay
my mother was
you've mortified
you've got to understand my father
was a preacher for the church of christ
the virgin doesn't have instrumental
music
they are in cult a religious cult
and my mother did whatever my dad said
and they had this yeah they had me
[Music]
and my father died in 1980 and my mother
is
to this day mortified by everything i do
so um
yeah
she has
at least three alters right
and
one of them has programming to be my
handler
and so i just basically avoid her it's
easier on both of us
so
do you know now or do you do you have
any idea right now about what was going
on around your family
as you grew up because
you must have had something
happen
that would give you a clue that someone
was taken or someone was you know
manipulated or something
they thought i slept i they thought i
walked in my sleep
and
i had trouble sleeping at night
i still do my subconscious thinks it's
not safe
my brothers both had similar behaviors
oh gee
um
you know
a lot of the stuff that we did
the behaviors we expressed
were on a par with what severely abused
children act like
and dad did abuse us we were not raped
at home but we were severely beaten on
an ongoing and regular basis
he believed in fair the rod and spoiled
child
and he had no patience with us
and
once he started swinging
he couldn't stop until mom stopped him
and she didn't unless she thought he was
going to kill us
so
there would be
you know there would be lots of missing
time from school because we had been
beaten so badly we couldn't walk
he smoked inside the house so we all had
asthma really bad and caught everything
so you have these
sickly abused children
already
just based on the here and now
and you add in
the stuff from being mine con
mk and
me lab
and
it it makes this big lump
that i don't know why the schools
didn't report us to child protective
services
or that may have been why we moved so
much i ended up going to 36 different
schools before i graduated high school
and the normal is three
elementary school junior high high
school that's the normal
and i went to 36.
so i sat down one day and counted them
up
with 36 different schools
and
that's not normal and
people should have noticed and didn't
and i think part of the problem was dad
was avoiding child protective services
but that also hated the military
and i suspect
because we would move and then two weeks
later move again
oh okay
as a child i'm looking back on this and
thinking
he was trying to
get away from someone
so he had to know there was someone
abducting us and not an et someone human
because i remember being taken by humans
i don't remember being abducted by
aliens
i do remember
there were times they would wear
costumes
to look like reptilians
but when you stop being scared you can
see the zippers
and i would started zipping them
they stopped the costumes
so yeah it's it's like you know
um
the last time
that i had an actual
et abduction
was in
1995 uh
there were bright lights outside and
then i
woke up on the spaceship
i was inside basically a plexiglass tube
and
you know the clear plastic hard ones
and i was
strapped to a
board of some
some kind inside of it and
then stood up
and
i was naked
that's always embarrassing
and uh
they were angry
and they were asking me telepathically
what had happened to my uterus well i
had had
cancer surgery in 1988
and
so um
i told them i had cancer
and they were very angry apparently they
wanted me to
have a baby for them
and i had been part of the breeding
program
when i was first married
because i lost four babies right in a
row
and yeah so they were apparently wanting
to continue that and because i no longer
had a uterus they couldn't
and
they
they left a mark on my arm
i can't see it i've
i've scratched it badly okay it used
two squares on point
and i've scratched it because it itched
um
eventually
lou
took a
car mechanic magnet to it and it stopped
itching after that
but um
who were they so
there was
a naga
in the back
could have been the twin sister of the
one that was langley
so
for people who haven't heard that or
haven't heard it yet
a naga is a
they're not hybrids but they look like
what would happen if you cross the human
with a snake
so bipedal
arms legs but
like sort of like uh no
no check
in the head is very reptilian
but the torso is human and they have
arms and hands like a human and
everything else is snake-like and they
have
scales right
so they are completely
reptilian with some
shapes
and
she was black on her back and
cream on her belly
and
had
bright
bright blue eyes
but very reptilian and she was in charge
and there was a row
of
i don't know what race they were they
you know the ivory statues of the
chinese sages
which ones
the ones with the ring
the big heads yeah yeah sure sure yeah
that's what they look like except they
were a beige color
not really a human color like like skin
but
beige
and they had brown eyes
and they were all telepathic sure nobody
talked
nobody talked with their mouths
so um
there there were
there was the one naga and
four
of these
sage-looking guys
i have no idea where they were from
i understand that the naga themselves
are from cassiopeia
so they
so the the other guys they looked
exactly like those
like elderly
elderly looking guys wow
they looked exactly like that
yeah well
i never said this was normal
okay so
yeah
that was that was
what
almost 15 years
well
for that was in 1995 and i my memories
were brought back in in
2013.
so
yeah i've had stuff all along that told
me there was something different about
me but
nothing to tell you
yeah nothing that says
you served in space
okay just to clarify the so the word
the two words free dorothy was actually
the code word to activate you
yeah okay
and don't and dorothy is is the name of
the girl in the wizard of oz is it
yes okay
yeah just just for the viewers who will
watch this
so he was here he was taking you there
uh and the wizard of oz is is is of
course the
the prime
original mk ultra uh programming system
right that
that they used
wizard of oz and they have um
alice in wonderland
wonderland
sure yes they have 100
hours from wonderland and i understand
that they have a couple more now
but
wizard of oz was what was used on me for
that altar
now they use different programs for
different altars
because altars are split up in a color
do you remember like watching wizard of
oz when you were a child and having some
kind of
weird sense of something or
nothing comes out of that yes
it was it was
it felt like it was real instead of like
it was a fantasy
um
but i've had that with other movies
since
things that should have been
purely fiction felt real
and
some of them have turned out to be
from programming
and others have turned out to be from my
family history
um
past lives and stuff
is
robin hood the real robin hood was uh
aubry de vere
and he's in my family tree
the um
there was
a real king arthur
and
his father
was
the real first pin dragon of of
wales
and
they are in my family tree
and
so some of the stories that felt real
even though they were supposed to be
fiction
it's turned out that the real people are
in my family tree so that's like a
genetic memory which
science is showing genetic memory is
real sure
so the main question then is
why did
was
was steve sent
to do this
d was he conscious of he was he
obviously knew what he was doing right
so he obviously knew what he was doing
and who never told me what his purpose
for it was sure but do you think he do
you think they they kind of
was that uh
like a counter
counteraction or counter programming on
their part to
activate your memory so you could be set
out there too
were they like at odds with the cia or
how
what what was your take
my take on it is that the nsa and the
cia are
are in a
agent agency ward
for funding
and
for funding
and they've been in an agency war for
funding
since 9 11 happened and both agencies
were blamed for dropping the ball
so that's what you can gather from why
they would do it
two years only
that
i cannot see any other
rational motive
there's no other
rational motive to have activated me it
makes no sense at all why a spy agency
would expose
a secret asset of another spy agency
unless it was part of their interagency
war
and
there's
that's that's the biggest question i
have about this whole thing is why the
hell did they decide to activate me
because i'm the only one that i know of
that was deliberately activated
everybody else it's been had an mri
you know or they got a head or
or
they just started talking because they'd
remembered it all along
um
i'm the only one that i know of that was
deliberately activated
and it's like why
you know why
why with my life
if they had left me alone i would never
have
never have gone to this
um
i wasn't even planning to be public with
it until
i started being shot at with energy
weapons
uh they started with three
directed energy weapons
and followed up with lasers after that
and
then they put
well this one board that's between the
two doors
that have
that has metal on the back side of it
because there's device in that wall
aimed at this chair
yeah
we thought the smartest thing to do was
block the device
because if we take it out let's just put
in a new one
you