you know i think your project is
wonderful and i think it's something
that's absolutely necessary
the most fascinating part
about this is how
fathers have given their power away
simply because we have been led through
or led to believe through society
that fathers
really don't matter that we're not
important necessarily
to the actual creation of the family
which really couldn't be further from
the truth
and i think the identity of men
and fathers not only in this country but
maybe around the world
has suffered
greatly in the last 50 60 maybe 75 years
in that we're not really clear about
what our roles are
um
and
at the birth when the father is
basically excluded from most of the
process or all of the process
we're stuck you know behind the glass
uh we're not allowed to really
participate in the actual birthing
depending upon you know the setting
the father is completely disempowered
and uh you know that's kind of where we
lose it that's where we've lost
not only our masculinity
um but also our identity as fathers
this is this is this is where it
happened i mean this is where
this is where we
we've lost maybe the biggest part of
ourselves
is in the birthing process
because you know
this
yes your partner your wife
is delivering the baby and has created
the baby and nature
has selected
the feminine
to do the creative process
but that doesn't in any way
take away
or discount any of the role of the
father
as provider and protector
and nurturer
and this is where we've given it away
we're not there
we have
allowed
ourselves to be disconnected
from that process
which is the biggest process
probably one of the biggest moments a
man will ever have in his life
i mean it's not like hitting a home run
or scoring a touchdown
all right your children
are your legacy they're
an extension of you the part of you that
lives on after
and irregardless of all the wealth
all the knowledge
property that you have when you cross
over
what the world remembers is none of that
it's your children
okay it's the extension of the family
you know were you loved
or were you not loved
i mean that's really what it come
you know your children are our legacy
and
in that
there's something to be cherished
nurtured and given every opportunity of
protection and love
i think when children are disconnected
from their fathers
for whatever reason and the statistics
hold this up
actually
children that are raised in a fatherless
home
80 percent of the males go to jail at
least once
seventy percent go to jail at least
twice
in fatherless homes now the statistics
are absolutely clear and they're
absolutely irrefutable
and they are holding up year after year
after year it's not to say
that it's always that
dramatic but there are issues simply
because
a woman cannot teach a man to be a man
it really takes a
a male a father figure to teach a man to
be a man
to know what it's like to be a man
uh just like a father cannot teach a
daughter how to be a woman to be a
mother
it isn't just the perspective or the
knowledge piece but it's the emotional
piece
and we're different you know we're wired
different
that's not to say that you know some
mothers
uh can't be
strong
as far as providing boundaries
but it's an identity thing
okay
[Music]
and i think your work is is absolutely
imperative because fathers have been cut
out of that and and you know when you
look at uh
child custody battles when you look at
divorces
typically the father is the one who's
excluded
he's looked at basically as an atm
machine
isn't given many of the rights
or even equal rights that the mother is
in fact there are some states where the
definition of family doesn't even
include the father
and uh
that's a tragedy so you know where do
fathers fit in this
and essentially
it appears
at at least at this point that fathers
have been giving their power away they
have allowed the medical community they
have allowed the courts to basically
dictate to them what their role is going
to be
as opposed to the fathers
stepping up and just saying no
this is our role you need to change your
model you need to change your
perspective you need to change your
paradigm of what fatherhood's all about
we're not going to accept
your definition any longer
and you know in the last 10 years we're
seeing a lot more father advocacy
groups coming up which is fantastic
because children need a mother and a
father
and that's just the way it is and
you know a lot of dads just need to step
up and we just need to reclaim it and we
need to change the way it is
it's not going to change for us we have
to do it and we have to do it in a very
responsible way
in a way that shows leadership
that shows integrity that shows honor
because everything we do is a mirror for
our sons and our daughters