[Music]
a
welcome back to my Russian audience it's
been a while I've uh missed you guys and
I've been playing up here in Alaska for
the summer and now I'm back to doing
some interviews and kind of um getting
into more work again so um I think last
time we were talking about the moon and
dulsey and I think the galactic slave
trade is that right Alexander is that
where we left off I think so yeah we we
left off I think that's where we left
off we left off we left off in like 1980
when you said that we didn't even get to
Mars and yeah there we go so so let's
Journey on to Mars let's let's bump up
to like
1982 okay um and I want to talk about
let's get into the the 20 and back which
I always have trouble talking about this
as if it were just 20 years which is
plenty significant like time but I also
I always feel like it was longer than
that I think because and maybe I've
mentioned this before before um you know
I had multiple clones that seem to be
sometimes overlapping and that can give
a sense I think of of an increased time
um
experience um yeah so forwarding I guess
or we want to say going backwards into
1982 in the fall September 82 was when I
was taken into that longer much much
longer experience on predominantly
around Mars but also other locations
which included the Kyper belt um we've
mentioned that I think in passing so
yeah so 9 years old not quite 10 I'm
being abducted to Mars and um what I
remember about that night was it
happening in uh slow motion my little
house little red house in the woods in
New Hampshire um yeah being kind of
sucked out the side of the house I know
that sounds kind of you know weird but
we are talking about abduction and like
my body kind of just a sense of hovering
in the air and kind of unable to move in
any way and like mute paralyzed and like
kind of a ragd doll and the kitchen
light is on I remember this clearly the
kitchen light is on and I'm just kind of
wishing I could reach my arms back to
the house and I'm knowing it's not going
to go well for me I absolutely feel like
this isn't going to go good no matter
what happens and I can't do anything
about it I don't remember necessarily
being afraid but uh just kind of going
out that way um interestingly too my
might have mentioned this I don't know
my brother has very distinctly similar
memories of being taken out not the side
of the house but the top of the house in
a very same same manner which uh I think
is quite telling I mean we were having
some parallel experiences and I do
believe he was also taken into a 20in
back program so I think that's relevant
to the whole discussion anyway
um and this uh this
time period of my life I want to just
share that I am shocked by how little I
remember of that era of my life I would
have been going into grade five and I
have one picture of that year and very
very few memories and I don't know if
that was just because my my my being my
my human person and my larger sort of
multi-dimensional person was not yet
adjusted to coming back from that
experience I'm not sure but that's also
when things started to go downhill for
me me and like every year in school
after that you know henceforth a teacher
bringing me aside and saying is
everything okay at home you know and I
didn't know what to say I knew things
weren't okay for me and I guess that's a
point I'm trying to make you know
something substantial happened in that
that fall of
1982 um
so at the same time let's go back to me
kind of being sucked out of the house
this is really really interesting that I
have a parallel memory of um
being take another part of me different
aspect of me being taken up like a ragd
doll into a ship that is a a favorable
ship this is the galactic Confederation
or as I call them the light
Alliance um and taking me in tandem like
there's a twin abduction a dark
abduction let's say in a to to use
polarized terms a dark and a light
abduction happening um and I remember
this being a distinctly beautiful
experience of um my body kind of falling
open from the chest my limbs kind of
dangling and it's sort of that classic
beaming up and but it was so um like
again slow motion but it was like slow
motion Liquid Love Like embracing me and
enveloping me and um like so luminous
and so beautiful you know it was like I
don't even know I don't have too much
language to describe it I wish I could
paint it or capture it in some way but
it was seemed like it went on for a long
time and I was taken up into their ship
that syrians ship um where my you know
galactic mate Tyran was is has been and
I I have spoken before earlier I think
very early with you about um like they
were preserving some aspect of my soul
experience so I wouldn't be as
completely damaged and devastated by
everything that happened um I wouldn't
be so so broken by it and that's the
significance I think of that twin twin
experience um and I'm glad I remember
that it also instills in me that sense
of yeah this wasn't just random I mean
it was part of the Soul's journey and
and you guys who listen to to me on this
channel know that I talk about that a
lot it's always um kind of anchored in
that bigger experience
so um I also wondered you know it's
almost like having a it's an interesting
thing to talk about this as a is I
wondered if it was like this is what
it's like to die it was so Heavenly and
I don't mean like a morbid way but the
way that everything in my Consciousness
was opening up as I was being taken up
into that
ship um like the the nde and and I then
from there as I was thinking about you
know our recording today I got to
thinking about um like how many times I
was brought close to death in the
programs and how many near-death
experiences I mean we could go back and
talk about monok and the Silver Bullet
and you know how many you know 200 plus
times or so in that silver bullet in and
part of the technology was bringing me
closer to death but I think that and and
anybody in the audience who's had
abduction experiences knows that it will
any contact
experience will open up your your
multi-dimensional Gateway open you up to
an experience of the quantum field that
you can't really put away when you come
back so and I think really dark
abduction can do that too like right now
in this past year
um I really had a lot more what I could
call as out of- body experiences where I
wake up in the night and I feel my I
actually feel my physical body like
levitating over the bed like my feet are
pointing up toward the ceiling and my
legs are lifting off and my back is
starting to come off the the bed um I
don't know how to explain this it's not
uh Fantastical in any way to me it's
become more ordinary and it feels safe
and it doesn't doesn't feel so scary as
it did but anyway what's my point why
are we going into this I just feel like
any kind of abduction experience as you
go through life later is going to open
you to more and more of this kind of um
like supernatural phenomena that's
that's where I'm getting at there um
that's been the case for me throughout
my life since all of that
so let's go into so where was I taken
you know where well let's go back to the
the dark abduction and you know going
into the 20 back we're going to talk
about Dean and twinning for a little bit
here more than a little bit um not my
easiest Topic at all if you guys have
touched the twinning Topic in any of
your
research rabbit holes you know that it's
it's kind of dark and gruesome in a way
but
um we need to go into that a little bit
because it it it it really lays the
framework of of what was going on for me
and my twin on Mars and how how did that
become what was the point of that what
was the the method to the madness what
was how was this solving a problem for
the programmers right what were they
exploring so we were taken um to Great
Lakes Naval uh training station North of
Chicago I think officially it's called
Naval Station Great Lakes and it's the
largest naval training um Center in the
US and we were underground so it's right
on right on a very big lake um yeah we
were in an underground place there and I
don't actually think we were kept there
for all that long
um like to get done what they got done I
don't think took you know months or or I
think maybe a period of weeks um only so
there I met a little boy named Dean who
was a little red-haired kid also 9 years
old and I think they had handpicked him
they knew this was going to play out and
we were trauma bonded um I would say
twined
psychically you know chemically
telepathically sexually um spiritually
and emotionally we were bonded so deeply
that we I think you know it's hard to
tell tell in my memories of Dean it's I
can't tell always whose thought is whose
who whose idea is whose that's how much
we were in the same mind I think it's
exceptionally helpful to the
programmers with the building out
eventually the super soldier so this is
where it really begins north of Chicago
um and the purpose being to create a
team of two of us so whose lives very
much depend for our Survival on each
other um
as as Delta combat slaves I don't I use
the term super soldier because that's
what people know it's not my favorite
term I think it overly glamorizes the
situation so I would say a combat slave
yeah and we would later do um Recon
missions on Mars I remember with Dean we
were as we aged you know we would be
doing psychic Recon together and and
meaning like remote viewing for example
the maned um Labyrinth or what the mants
were up to we could look at that from
the base and see using our joint joint
abilities and when you create a twin
Bond um you amplify the psychic ability
of of them together exponentially like
it's like um high octane Rocket Fuel s
ability oh is what happens it's it's I
don't know how to describe that or why
it's exactly like that but it's way more
potent ties than a single me on my own
working psychically or him alone working
psychically like that's what I very much
see inside of this and I would love to
hear some more on the that aspect of the
twinning I don't I haven't researched it
too much but there's definitely um you
know when they were were working with
you know in awit with the twins
mangala's experiments on in ashit with
the twins you know was that part of what
they were also looking at is is the
other worldly aspect of what happens
when you twin or with biological Twins
and then how do we how do we create
twins out of you know two that are not
biologically related and then using that
in these programs so
anyway at this base underground we were
kept in cages as part of the the you
know twinning process let's say the
trauma bonding and um the handlers kept
us together they would put us in a cage
that was um you know we'd be naked
without fruit and water and cold and
kept us there in I ol ation for a while
and then you know we of course we would
Bond we would be all we had with each
other right there's an incredible Bond
going on in that trauma experience and
then they would take us apart put us
back together take us apart and keep
doing that um eventually they would make
one of us view the other person being
tortured by Handler and vice versa and
ultimately we would be um made to hurt
each other I mean that's all part of the
programming which is really I mean it's
really quite sick
um goes without saying and it's it's
like to to hurt the one thing we love
breaks a person completely breaks a
person yeah
horribly yeah and who were who were the
handlers there yeah I just remember
white guys okay I don't I don't remember
I don't have a memory I think there were
some women there as well it's like a lab
you're underground part of it is
brightly lit part of it is in real
darkness in my memory call um and
there's this muffling there's a muffled
quality of sound and I don't this is
kind of gross but I don't know if they
were keeping it kind of soundproofed as
well throughout to so I mean kids are
going to be yelling and screaming and
crying and it's going to be a scary
situation right
so yeah so have a breather for that
remember this is part of the
mission um and and two I would say let
me talk about how this memory came in
because this was so wiped from my mind I
did not have any pieces of this at all
this was back a CLE few years back in
the fall in my living in West Texas in
my last location there was a place I
would go to and walk it was really off-
grid really open land with no you
know no Wi-fi no satellite connection to
anything nothing and I was walking and I
had it was a beautiful evening Dusk and
and I had a sense of presence behind me
I had been at that moment thinking of
the maned labyrinth on Mars my mind was
just kind of wandering and I feel like
this this male presence that I don't
know behind me it feels very very
protective and kind of nice and this is
by the way etherically I feel it a
presence and I feel him on my left side
I feel him on my right side he's I'm
just welcoming it because energy
signature is really good um and it's I
see him as a guy in jeans um reddish
Sandy blonde hair um and I can see his
T-shirt his shoes everything is super
detailed but his face is all pixelated I
can't see his face um and I'm like going
what is this about I feel like it's
connected to the programs but I don't
know what and like I finished my hike I
was out there a long time alone went
back home that night before bed he goes
and he's there again with me and he said
I'm here you saved my life it was really
a moving moment I was like what's
happening you know and I think about too
Alexander like if I had shut this down
and been like I don't know what this guy
wants d d I never would have gotten
these memories back so it was like he
was coming to me in his his um the form
that he's in now you know we're the same
age now and introducing himself as a at
that time a late 40s man right and and
saying I'm here this happened and you
need to know about it and I would say
also like an element of his higher self
you know presenting because he was very
um um
like I said protective and there was a
kindness to him and he didn't seem like
he was super
traumatized um but he introduced me to
all of this it was like that's where the
memory started and the in the few weeks
coming after that was when all of this
unfolded and it was rather shocking and
in that time he came to me as the man
I'm speaking of the adult self but also
his super soldier aspect in the The
fullon Uber black suit that we wore on
Mars and
as a um a child self as well and also as
like a a wounded animal screaming in
pain like his
most uh hurt self his most damaged
aspect was also coming to me and you
know just to give people an idea of like
how like number one like I said how
buried that was and also how it came
back was really unusual and I I feel
like that that's a you know worth
sharing yeah wow did you did you did you
guys connect in the here and
now no and I have to admit that you know
there's been telepathic connection
between us but I I think in recent times
I've just been like man I can't deal
with this stuff I don't want like I've
blocked it out a little bit you know to
be really honest so so you don't know
who he is like his name and stuff I know
his name is Dean um his alter was his
his super soldier alar was called Neil
at least that's how I know him okay um
yeah and there's a long long Saga with
that that I will I probably won't finish
telling in this episode we'll go into it
in the next episode because it it
happens in a way that's um you know
there's some Darkness inside of that
there's also a lot of love I mean he was
somebody I was we were we were wed in a
way at 9 years old we were made to like
let's say love each other so that's
still I would say that's still there all
that's still there but it's also bound
up in all this trauma right so it's kind
of it's kind of wild to cont contemplate
all of that isn't it and um if you don't
mind I was going to read after this all
came through you know and by the way I
had known like next to nothing about
twinning when all of this came through
for me I was like what in the is
this excuse my language I didn't know
anything about all of this and so I
started digging around once I got a good
I always I don't do any research about
anything until I get a large sum of
information on my own
first um but I found this some some I
started getting like some information on
the um like this is from Vali who was
born into an Illuminati family um you're
familiar she was a friend as a and she
talks a lot about it um she says the
twins do everything together they are
taught together do military training
together they tell each other their
secrets but at some point they will be
forced to hurt each other if one twin is
considered Expendable the ultimate setup
will be one in which one twin is forced
to die while the other watches this does
bear out in my experience um many setups
will involve one twin being forced to
betray the other turning on the other
child after intense
programming this betrayal setup will
devastate both children and they will
learn the truth the true lesson trust no
one betray or be betrayed I mean this is
so
sick yeah and if they refuse the the um
command to harm the other the other twin
will be brutalized by by a programmer in
front of them and so on and so on it
goes
um yeah and from again you probably know
Fritz sping Meer and Cisco wheeler um
their their book uh deeper insights into
the Illuminati formula I found this um
on the internet as well this excerpt
um yeah during the twinning each victim
will create parts that internalize all
the characteristics of the person
selected to be their twin these parts
have totally internalized the other
person's identity they are programmed to
take responsibility for what the twin
does contrary to the programming so you
see how Insidious this is and what
they're doing to us as little kids the
paired slaves will be trauma bonded to
each other the older will want to
protect and nurture the younger and will
be set up in situations to save the
other from Death what were we doing on
Mars why did he come to me and say you
saved my life yeah they will torture
each other at times they are forced to
almost kill each other they learn to
live and die together exactly they will
intern each internalize each other's
pain when they are tortured in the
vicinity of one another
Etc there's a good thing though in this
coming
up bear with me yeah they they will be
given identical structures so that they
can have the hidden keys to each other's
systems the deeper parts of most systems
can't be unlocked without the help of
twins so we're
Illuminating uh why why did our
programmers on Mars think this was so
valuable
yeah they are given jobs and team
projects that require the skills of both
especially jobs that require total
compliance with the twinning programs in
order to survive they're programmed to
be one in Body Soul and mind they are
set up in LoveHate relationships they
are set up in Opposites Attract and
opposites repel conflicts they are
sexually mated they are te
telepathically connected and yet the two
twins will also unlock each other's
deeper systems
they will help trigger and help heal
each
other that's if they survive all of this
and find each other again that's a
possibility which is which is you know
potentially Silver Lining you know if
anybody's had memories come back about
twinning and can't really function
because the memories are so bad you know
just remember that there could be a even
a multi-dimensional way in which healing
could could conceivably happen so I I
wanted to illustrate that because this
wasn't invented on Mark or at that Naval
Base right you know this goes back into
Nazi Germany I think into Babylon and of
course um the Illuminati families as
we've Illustrated so whoa everybody so
thanks for listening and hanging out
with that I just wanted to give it a
little deeper moing in um you know the
bigger picture I
suppose yeah um okay um Johan Fritz uh
as you know him well I know you you've
been together on on a conference um he
talks about he actually they all they
take it they take it as far as saying
that uh they twin you because they find
that you are kind of spiritually what he
calls it the Divine
counterpart that you are actually
divinely uh paired I guess and that's
why they they you know made you and so
they kind of find these two people who
are supposedly I guess on the spiritual
level they somehow didn't do you feel
that with Dean or yeah I feel like
that's it that that is is you know I
don't think that's incorrect you know in
some cases I think that's true do does
it have to be like two people like that
to for them to pull this off
successfully no I don't think
so okay yeah I don't think everybody
that's twin is is like trated to be
divine counterparts in fact I feel like
you know there's I see two sides of that
coin yeah yeah maybe it actually may be
the other way around like you weren't
you weren't Divine counterparts before I
mean on some level like yeah you were
supposed to meet right but yeah it's
it's interesting because it goes on two
levels like the soul level the soul
contract and also what what they did on
Earth which is you know sort of like a
free reign kind of
thing yeah so thanks everybody for
listening to that I don't think it's
easy um but we were that's the preamble
to us actually being sent to after all
that we ended up on Mars in a base that
was just south of the Equator um don't
have a name name for it I don't you know
have any there was no neon sign that
said like this is such and so I'm not
sure but do you remember the trip and
who took you there I don't exactly
remember that I just have memories of
what's in my memory about the trip is
just kind of looking at Mars and Zoning
in on this place that is exactly that
just sou of the Equator like coming in
over and over and over it's like that
memory replays like kind of like the
leaving of the house okay yeah it's like
here we go and it's all in slow motion
um
um yeah and so again age nine um and
definitely allowed to and and wanted it
was wanted that I would Age on Mars they
don't want to keep you a kid they want
to build you out into a mature adult and
that happens over time um and there was
a a school of sorts um that that we
began you know in and it was of course
training and the the cability and I
think TW you know training Dean and I to
work together more adeptly after all of
this right um and I would recall being
uh trained to telekinetically operate a
kind of I can't in my Shand with myself
I call it a killing machine because
that's what it seemed to be but I I
remember controls in this thing like
like manual controls but I was really
training to operate it uh te
telekinetically telepathically it seemed
alive and conscious like you're
interfacing with a field of
Consciousness actually not just like a
hunk of metal but but uh in a way of
being something that's allow
you know is it a robot or some kind of
no I mean we could talk about you know
the the craft of you know piloting a
craft is similar and that the thing
isn't it's it's not it's it's way more
sensient than a robot it's not Ai No I
mean it's is it like a machine that is
like walking and and doing things like a
humanoid or yeah this was um it was I
remember like a landbased craft in a way
that just seemed to be I don't know if
it's an extension of that
um yeah
so yeah I was first trained in that way
to to operate some kind of landbased
machine it seemed like part of a you
know combat um combat function that it
had what what did it
do it was kind of a hover I mean it had
like weapons attached to it I don't
remember that that well but the main the
main point that I do remember is
basically the training and the teaching
and learning more than operating in an
actual battle situation I think they
want to just get us kind of used to hey
this is what you're going to be doing
like a simulator kind of thing yes and
what I was going to say uh is there was
a ton of simul simulated training like
battle training um the and we were
augmented over time right so
progressively I mean they invest so much
time and energy and also money and
funding into creating these super
soldiers they're very careful and
nothing is wasted there is nothing even
though we could say a lot of it um would
be experimental like there was trying
new things it's also very well manicured
and there's an element of precision
inside of this it's not like
sloppy so um within that and over time
there would be like I said a lot of the
simulated battle training like they
could because we were becoming part
technology um and and I in my language I
would say cyborg you know part like a
cybernetic organism which is part
biology and part technology so they
would kind of tweak us out a little bit
in a in a in a way that was very almost
like putting us in a computer and then
spitting us out on a virtual Battlefield
and um where we we trying to fight which
is which is crazy like in a way I
remember um like not even always knowing
that we were in a simulation like we're
not necessarily they're not telling you
hey this is just a simulation you can
kind of just slack it doesn't matter
because we could actually be killed in a
simulation and we didn't know that
either so you know we were definitely
not uh you know we were not need to in
having a like a need to know basis on a
need to know basis about even what was
happening to us so nobody ever no
there's no like in other words there was
no debriefing like there's no hey we're
gonna put you in this and you're going
to learn this you're just kind of
following blind every day day after day
is what it felt like to me in any case
um I and I can tell like the the
simulated memories this simulated battle
memory stuff that training you know is
really different In My Memory has a
really different quality and feel so you
can tell the difference between what's
real and what it what was actual and
what was again a simulation um is it was
they're hyper adrenalized like they
would Jack us up on some kind of
amphetamine before they would stick Us
in the simulation and we were trained to
really to to
um to have have no mercy and to be
Fearless but also to have absolutely no
will of our own you know you're just
taking commands you're taking commands
that are coming in through like a
mind--to mind interface which sounds
really wild but you know we're familiar
with that technology now right not new
technology um and I when all these
memories were coming in
um again however many years ago now I
was brought back into a really kind of
eerie and chilling memory of being in
this this it's like the altar I call it
the kill command Altar and like I feel
like I'm just an empty shell like
there's no me there there's nothing of
me I just feel like kind of a machine
and where commands are coming in and
there's all these blips in the mind and
it's almost like a a binary sequencing
that is um interfacing with me and
commanding in a way and it's just as a
human and as a woman it's very um it's
kind of upsetting in a way to to feel
that that was to know that that was done
to me and to recall that anyway um
definitely um you know could switch you
on in that kind of an
altar and so to activate that aspect of
you so it's not on all the time they
don't want the fight aspect of you on
all the time you'll be unable to to do
and to like function right but but that
there is that and the um the very
unnatural state of the the when they
would drug us and just make us fight
like can can you describe a scenario
what would it look like is it is it a a
Terrain some kind of a like
extraterrestrial it's kind of like a
yeah it is like that it's kind of like a
video game in my recollection there is
like this a little bit of a you know if
you're Discerning you can perceive a
little bit of almost a 2d quality to it
um I don't think that's what we're
supposed to be you know like I said
we're not supposed to know about that
we're supposed to feel like it's all
completely real um and just for train
you know for training purposes I mean
it's kind of brilliant from a training
purpose but uh it was almost like the
the stuff inside of it didn't really
feel like Mars it was just like putting
us into random scenarios that would be
almost um I don't know what the
algorithm of that was or where they
generated this stuff from like it's just
kind of taking us into some bizarre so
you were like running around on on on
the ground who did you
fight various like various like random
like people beings um pyrid type of
creatures and it was into trying also to
induce fear to get you to how are they
going to respond to fear and how do we
need to augment their system so that
they will be Fearless in the face of any
kind of danger like so you're basically
turning off your human system that's
going to normally you're going to be
afraid and not approach or you're going
to be afraid and run the other way they
don't want us running they want us
attacking right so all of that and we
could say that um again my experience as
a woman like why would they want to
build out a woman why don't just keep
men for the super soldier job but they
wanted I'm making a huge generalization
but women tend to be naturally more
psychic it's just how it goes U
naturally more intuitive um and they
want that they want that aspect of of
one's Humanity all the way they don't
want to augment that in any way that why
did they keep me with his team I was
usually working with a team of seven
that's at least in my memory we had a
company of seven that we were doing we
were doing Bas protection um kind of
some boring stuff um but but they would
keep me on as a female to kind of lead
the psychic psychic they were all built
out to be psychic but I felt like for me
that was the Kingpin of my ability like
maybe they wanted some big strong guys
of course and they can they can always
they'll take whatever's natural in you
and work with that to highlight it but
they can build you out in a variety of
ways and build out your most special
capacity so it shines right so the base
was
underground the base was as to my
recollection largely underground there's
some some you know stuff above ground
too I mean it feels really um In My
Memory it's very washed out and on Mars
the I remember the sun feeling super hot
and it could have been the suit that I
was wearing I don't know and also um the
sun being too bright I just felt like
the glare was like too much and it was
too hot all the time when I would be out
I don't know I don't know why that is
because Mars is farther from the Sun
maybe it's an atmosphere yeah but people
reported that the equator is quite hot
and it's it's pretty much like Earth and
sometimes even even hotter because it's
all you know desert basically yeah
absolutely do you remember do you
remember the surroundings like are there
any plants Forest animals stuff like
that yeah
um not so much plants above ground not
anything substantial like that we
would I don't remember that in any case
um I was under I'll talk about my
underground experience with the
reptilians later but
um yeah just kind of um kind of barren
you know kind of baren terrain okay
that's my most yeah that's what I
remember the most I didn't see every
inch of Mars so I can't comment on that
you know maybe there was you know there
was water underground when I was with
the reptilians later but that I don't
recall above groundw there
um yeah try to think of what else it was
I remember a lot of wind like just like
blowing sand wind wind wind wind the
endless wind um very clearly so and who
ran the program there and this was I was
interfacing largely with um dudes like
American dudes like military and I think
some corporate interest there okay yeah
yeah so
um trying to think if there was so how
many how many people weree on the base
all in all yeah I don't really know
because I wouldn't have seen all of it u
i remember interacting mostly you know
with a more you know smaller group um
and then these this seven of us who
formed a a larger TR
team um I remember also so mans
who we had some mans who were working
for us um mans who were text ins
surgeons and um mechanics because the
mans are super duper everything that's
really detail oriented fine tunes they
are Ma you know they're masters of of
detail work and very um Adept in so many
ways and and at the upper Dimensions
they are masters of frequency sound and
vibration so kind of plays out I mean
I I have felt and not everyone may agree
with me because they're large in a way
you know they're big bugs but I don't
think about them that that way that I
find like such a tremendous Elegance to
the Mantis that I interface with um on
Mars yeah and I don't think of them as
just big insects they're they're they're
um upper dimensional qualities really
shine through so uh I recall one time
being I was augmented so I had um you
know I remember some kind of very
Hightech I don't know whether to call it
metal offworld it was some kind of
offworld um element of augmentations of
that through my arm and my head
particularly and through my almost down
into my hand and I remember waking up
from some kind of surgical thing and
these two these two manads are over me
and this lights over me and the Manas
are like looking at each other like oh
did we screw up is she okay do we do the
right thing like they looked at each it
was kind of this funny moment like oh
we're going to be in deep sh we screwed
up I don't know I don't know I don't
have a memory of what exactly they had
done that time but it was kind of I
don't know it was a little bit funny I
mean you know if anything's going to be
funny we'll take it
right yeah yeah the mans
and we we'll get into the maned
Labyrinth and things in the next segment
um but they know a lot of the Manas that
were working for us were mind controlled
um and some of them may have volunteered
but but they were kind of there in a way
that in which they weren't entirely all
there I would also say as you would
expect from someone who was mind
controlled so we took the The Way We
Were altering humans with these programs
and applied it to other races yeah um
and I like I said I was oh go ahead no
no no I'm I'm just just uh so 9 years
old you're on the base you start this uh
training school do you remember any like
regular type classes where you like sit
and do some stuff or is it all I don't
remember that although it wouldn't you
know like the really mundane stuff like
you
know like really neutral stuff is not I
remember the Highlight the biggest highs
and the biggest lows but the neutal like
I don't who cares like you know like
when I look back on my human life now do
I remember like you know boring stuff
not so much yeah um you know there might
have been it would be interesting to
know there like normal classes um that's
not what I recall though so you said
that you were patrolling around the base
to protect the base who are you
protecting
against the locals the locals but you
know what's interesting here I think
there's there's a lot of
uh how would I say inversion and how
that was presented to us yes we're
protecting the colonies right but also
we we were the aggressors in some
situations too so not to say we were
always just like passively waiting to be
attacked by somebody or you know if some
outside interest wants to come in and
you know do whatever at the base and we
need to be on that right so there is
that element not just locals but anybody
who might be wanting to get into a turf
war with us or or you know some other
group wherever um they they did need
protection I suppose in that way yeah so
um the progression was being eventually
you know after all the telekinetic you
know learn learn how to operate this
thing with your mind it was eventually
trained to Pilot which is which are
honestly some of my happiest memories
like
piloting is
exquisite exquisite like absolutely
awesome memories of that um yeah there's
something special about that and then we
were trained on land to be very very uh
you know to to be combatants on land as
needed so and that was a progression
over many many years like Mars was this
place I felt like I would never leave
like it's just like I'm here forever in
this like repeating day after day of the
same thing I don't know um eventually I
did leave Mars but yeah um and the I
guess I mentioned the suits that we wore
were
um black kind of form fitting um super
Hightech in in ways again that like my
mind my 3D mind is like I can't even
really fathom this and I think over time
had different iterations of those suits
where they were trying different
Technologies and I know like when I know
exactly what my suit looks like because
when Dean comes to me he's got that you
know his his super soldier part has the
same suit we were like twins we were
absolutely like twins wearing the same
thing um yeah and it had I mean there
was quite a you
know uh array of defensive sort of
Technologies connected to the stud and I
think in some again in some iteration
that suit itself was um conscious in a
way just like I talk about the craft
being conscious it's all everything's
Consciousness my computer my microphone
the floor the de like it's all really
made of of Consciousness and energy
right that's my impression um yeah and
also I would say too um sometimes I
think we talked about clones in the past
um it always seems like within the
engineering of a super soldier it's it's
built built in that there's going to be
a lot of clones I think that's just part
of how the whole thing goes and
eventually after they build you out they
can sell you they can trade you that's
how I ended up later with the Draco you
know it was a a trading deal unless I
mean it's possible the Draco sold me I
don't know but um you mean they sold
your clone not not this not this uh
version that was on Mars so it was like
a parallel kind of experience I don't
know I don't know that it was
entirely it was not overlapping for the
whole whole experience of all of that
but I there may have been I feel like
there was some overlap and um it's not
to be clear too it's not being sold for
like money and American dollars it's for
you know all the other currency of
exchange out there right so favors
technology of course DNA and so on and
so forth so um yeah there's a lot to
that um I do remember maybe I talked
about this before the spider that I was
killed by on Mars did I talk about that
yeah yeah in one of those uh older ones
yeah yeah um and that you know I think I
might have mentioned that then the
technology that we had like we there
were seven of us we were out on patrol
and the spiders coming down over this
hill and they all had you know in my
memory it feels like they just vaporized
you know they're gone they disappeared
but it's a cloaking technology and oh
either my tech wasn't functioning or
Pilot era meaning me I wasn't
functioning properly to get it you know
get cloaked fast enough and the thing it
killed me so I remember I think I've
said this you know my Consciousness
being faced down in the sand this
blowing sand and I'm face down and going
like I'm aware that I'm dying but I'm
also awake and I don't quite know where
to go yet sort of this moment of of of
existential confusion how big was the
the spider huge it was huge like
to my memory again to my memory it was
enormous it could just be bigger than
you I was oh yeah way bigger than me I
mean it felt like in my memory how I
wrote it in my journal was like the
thing is as big as a house I'm sure
that's not true but because I'm like I'm
frightened I am you know I'm afraid at
least as it's you know coming through
memory I'm like oh Jesus the thing is
was it was it more like smelly and brown
and hairy and stinky it was stinky I'm
sure you know it's just a spider a big
spider so what but but it feels
frightening right when it's that big so
it's more like an animal not a not a
conscious being you think um I wouldn't
I wouldn't assume that you know I mean I
didn't interface with it telepathically
not at least not that I remember um but
it has some higher Tech you know the
thing that it it directed some kind of
energy weapon at me oh that's not low
Tech so I wouldn't say it's just like a
base animal that has no consciousness at
all oh um but I wasn't around long
enough to have a conversation with it I
don't know
so he wasn't like biting you with you
know Venom and stuff no no it was a
directed weapon I see same kind of
frequency it was a frequency that came
come out of it yeah and it was fast some
kind some kind of a
beam be it felt like it was Just Energy
I don't know other that and so he he
basically hit you and uh so the way I
imagined it is that the way the people
describe it is that it has these
mandibles and they just come fast at you
and they just bite you with Venom like
what penny described in one of her
incidents there so this one was like a
distance distance kill basically yes
yeah that's my what I recall it yes and
and it it was I mean it was quick it
wasn't like I was laying there suffering
for a long time but it was frying I
almost I feel like I didn't really even
have any Flesh Wounds but it was inside
I was something inside my technology was
fried right as well as my biology like
both two opponents were like faded out
quickly like an
EMF like an EMF like a what do you call
EMP yeah
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oh
um what else do you remember waking up a
after this like did he wake up somewhere
in the in the in in the medical Bay
somewhere uh I don't have super clear
memory of that I think you know sort of
like it just my memory kind of goes out
after that and I don't know where it
picks up again properly in a linear way
so I can't really say um with that
so another thing that's coming to me of
jumping around a little bit
um was this I don't think I spoke of
this like this our commanders had set us
up to be infiltrated by a like super
soldiers from another company that were
also from the future I mean this is
getting pretty weird um and they were
Japanese but they stuck them in our
group to see how long it would take for
us to figure out that they weren't part
of us or they weren't like us they were
much
more they were way less human in more
technology than we were and it was like
being it was weird it was like being
pulled back and forth in this what I
call can identify now you know call it a
timeline more being pulled to and fro
and to see they want commanders you know
someone has to said uh you know that the
Mars colonies were run by Psychopaths
and what I experienced out there was
absolutely that's correct at least in
the era that I was on Mars perhaps that
was not always the case but in this case
yes so they implanted them intentionally
to see what would happen and who would
win and how how soon would we notice
that they weren't natural to who to what
our company was or who what our team was
made out of and being you know pulled
back and forth in a timeline War which
was actually pretty scary and dangerous
um we're working with time but
ultimately what was happening exactly
what do you mean yeah so I remember
being pulled out and viewing this um
this this at first glance this this
really beautiful Japanese type of almost
like a hanging i g to say like a hanging
world or hanging City and it's all these
white beautiful Almost White rounded
structures of the city and there's
living life there there's like I see
plants and things like that and looking
at it kind of from a distance from an
edge um almost like a gate way or a
portal into this realm M but it's all
dead it's all sterile in a way it's all
the energetic has been an ener unique
energetic signatures have been wiped out
and it's just in again energetically
it's been sterilized even though I'm
looking at plants and some life and and
really beautiful some kind of um
futuristic AR architecture it's lovely
again Japanese uh think about a little
Japanese futurism here in Your Vision as
you're imagining a lot of white and the
and the the the super soldiers who would
come in were also wearing this kind of
white same kind of material I don't know
exactly what that was um but looking in
on this sort of you could say from a
certain mindset or certain perspective
you could say oh we're looking at a
perfect world there's nothing alive
anymore everything is controlled it's
all been sterilized and Humanity has
become sterilized okay and in fact in
the end we were able to win that war
because those super soldiers could not
think for themselves they couldn't they
were completely programmed like we were
programmed too but we still had the
ability to
function you know to to use our you know
executive mind mind to some degree um in
situations where we needed it right did
you guys go in to the city or did they
go I don't remember that I remember
being On The Fringe and almost just like
looking at it at the edge like I
described but not going deeply in
because that What the deeper you go into
that the it's almost like you're under a
spell and you're like oh no isn't this
beautiful isn't this lovely I want to
say here it's like in the the the book A
Wrinkle in Time where they describe this
perfect world that is oh that is like
ran by sort of like an AI mind that you
know everyone oh now that I mention it
everyone's like behaving perfectly but
then you realize that it's it's all like
AI ran and everyone isn't like an
automaton
basic no you just linked something up
for me because that book was one of my
favorite books when I was like in my
early teens back in the day and like now
that you mention I'm like wow was I
replaying something from there because I
would read that book and like start it
over at the beginning and read it again
like I was trying to get something out
of it I don't know um so and one more
thing I guess we could talk about go
back to the the uh the memories of
piloting you know I have really good
memories of being in a Solo craft like
um just being out on patrol and uh
certainly Tethered to base through my
this technology you know through the
mind like a kind of implanted technology
um but but I feel like that really
relates to why I've always enjoyed and
longed for um Landscapes like Alaska or
out on you know the Greenland ice sheet
or in some deep desert that most people
wouldn't enjoy I really like those
Landscapes I think it's really direct
directly related to Mars um um as well I
would say um I recently in this P the
past months since I've been at you know
since I've made my my life in Alaska
I've started shooting you know I uh I um
become a competitive shooter up here and
when I started shooting and still it's
like I don't know where this complete
gift comes from because I'm a very I'll
say I'm a very good shooter without any
training and that I think is also
pointing back to the programs you know
it's wild absolutely wild it's been I
would say also deeply Redemptive to to
um you know so many times and places
where you know I was the weaponized
being being controlled and I have no
desire to harm anybody but but being in
command of a weapon now and especially
as a woman you know all kinds of bad
things happened to me that I had no
power over and it's very um it's it's
weird to say that shooting could be
healing but that's what I found that's
my experience
yes very centering I think so and not
everyone's going to agree with that and
some people might say you're a light
worker you have no reason to be picking
up a gun but you know I'm on my path
here and uh it makes total sense given
given what I'm talking about here in the
programs right so and let me let I could
say one last thing about more recent
memories that came up um just this year
earlier on the the one of the craft that
I piloted on Mars you know I have this
recollection frankly I I'll say it this
craft feels like looks like a souped up
version of a of an old military craft
from the 1940s or so that's been
retrofitted for Mars a helicopter right
from from like the world wars or
something which is weird but in the
memory that I had more recently um I
recall the power system power generator
and that thing like after the C cockpit
like more toward the center of the craft
is this it's like a moving centrifuge
it's like a it's almost like looking
through this portal of Infinite Space or
light but the the I don't know if it's a
torsion field or what but it's moving
and and the movement part is the
generation it's using Quantum energy to
generate power um and it's like I'm
looking into the whole universe I mean
it's it's a beautiful memory it's like
I'm so excited to just it sounds so
simple in a way but to me it was really
profound to recall that because it's
again it's
a beautiful in an Indescribable way um
palpable to my whole system like we're
talking about a benevolent higher
technology it's not about war and
weapons I mean we're talking about
technology that's very applicable to our
situation here on Earth and I hope that
so was it a BattleCraft that you that
you flew or you just I wouldn't call it
a big battlecry I mean it was kind of
pathetic that thing was like I call it
in my notes I call it the Mars junker
it's like yeah it seemed like it was
kind of on its last legs but like I said
it would been had been retrofitted so
there was higher technology capacity
within it the shell the shell was kind
of like what is this this thing is a
piece of crap but nevertheless there's a
Gateway into Beauty in the center of
that craft so um it was more for patrol
like I could call if something was
coming in you know I had some
rudimentary ways absolutely of of of um
using it as a okay Weaponry right so
fighting back shooting whatever do you
remember who would encroach on the base
like usually do you remember any beings
any any kind of skirmishes definitely um
oh it was like a mutiny by the Mantis we
had working for us so oh so there's one
night um we had this is hard for me to
talk about because I can feel it coming
up through my body um we were the base
was decimated and it was the Mantis that
were helped by another group they were
we they were coming in from the air with
our own craft and bombing us you it was
like an air raid you know and I remember
having my left leg blown off and a guy
is shout he's run everybody's running
and it's like total chaos we didn't
expect this to happen of course right um
somebody's running in the the other
direction saying get up get up run we're
going to die and he's you know rushing
everybody's rushing this other way and I
can't move because my leg is gone um and
you know another time where I just my
memory after that goes black and I
assume they either took me to um you
know medical eventually after all this
stopped or that I just died and was
placed by clone um but it was intense it
wasn't wouldn't be what we had
anticipated because it was like I said a
kind of mutiny and a kind of um Skirmish
from within our own ranks yeah so that
was the highlight of the base life right
oh my God yeah like when so I had really
bad PTSD for a while with fireworks wow
and
so I'll tell you a little story a few
years back I was living in India and and
it's going on right now the Festival of
dwali the the um the festival of light
vanquishing Darkness right are you
familiar and they do fireworks for like
three or four days straight big booms
going off and I was like one night I'm
like lying on the on the the my bedroom
floor and all this stuff is going on put
earplugs in and I'm shaking and I'm
shaking and I'm shaking all these
memories start coming back in of that
night on Mars so ultimately the that was
explained to me via the you know why am
I so upset by fireworks for my whole
life it's like it is like a veteran with
ptsc absolutely a war veteran and it's
it's hard to recover from that um and we
who have served in space don't get to
come back and claim any benefits from
the US government for sure um but I'm
glad that that since all the memory came
back my nervous system feels better and
I can be around fireworks without
freaking out um and feeling like I need
to run and take cover and like fight you
know fight for my life yeah pretty wild
but that that was a very um yeah like
there's all of this um like citran
yellow and green light in the sky like
flares and from that night yeah I do
remember that very clearly and like I
said Alex like we remember like the the
biggest Beauty and the most Devastation
like those are the memories that that's
like come back I think would say the
easiest that we
recall so in the next episode we're
going to talk about yeah well so we'll
go deep into the mids and what Dean and
I were doing with the mids how are we
mind controlling them what was our
offense with the mants what were we
viewing with the mants um and what
happened what was the end of Dean andite
what happened there you know that's a
all that's a um a pretty full story and
then we'll have another episode after
that which we go into my experience um
with uh uh reptilians and uh another
little um how do we call it a crime
syndicate on Mars at the time that was
run by the Draco that's going to be
pretty little bit of Soul scalping
operation out there on s which I got
caught in the middle of so um yeah we
got some juicy content coming up thank
you guys thanks everybody for being here
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yeah
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